Valentine's Day: Secrets of The Wrong Vagina, REVEALED

(but cycon, you ask, wut if that wrong vadgenda cartoon was made to a braodway musical theatre?)

Every link in this tells a story. A love story. Of tragic, historic romance. Dare you seek the tale, traveler? I know, I'm a couple days early, but I'll forget, possibly, so I'm doing it now, bored, before the children need put to bed.

This is all I can give. (It's not)

This is all I can give you. (I could do more...)

Enjoy. (please..)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AHHH, Valentine's Day!

That sugar-coated holiday of Hallmark cards and premarital s3x.

That special day where people and [NG-ers?] show their affection for one another.

It seems almost everyone is getting ready to celebrate with the one's they love...

h'well...

ALMOST everyone.

Seems one little fellow doesn't LIKE Valentine's day!

Here he sits.

Alone in his chair!

Never giving a thought,

Never giving a care.

Could it be that his heart is TWO sizes TOO small?

Could it be.. that ...

Could it be that you're an ASSHOLE?

Is that the problem?!

I.. I think it is.. okay...you sonuva-bitch.

...comin' in here and...

"Hiss-ahh-HEART is- two sizes too small-"

-YOUR DICK is two sizes too small, how bout that one asshole, fuck you, alright?

*front door opens, somehow*

Oh, damn, you think it'd be CHRISTMAS with all the bitches I been shoppin' for!

I been everywhere from...Claire's to L.S. Ayers!

Ah, hey, Damien! Rough day-a-shoppin', ayy?

Ha-h-well, not as rough as the s3x I'm gettin' tonight!

I got THREE FLAVORS of edible panties!

Cherry, strawberry... and

PASSION froot.

Shucks, that's nothin'! I been gluin' these pannies together since this mornin'

outta construction paper and.. old macaroni noodles...

cheggitout man?!

Well I guess that's... KINDA edible. Not bad.

Klunk, what're you doin' fer Valentine's day?

h-H-yeah! Anyone

S-P-E-S-H-O-L you wanna tell us about?

*cut to grumpass in chair bout to rant some type shit*

WELL.

Unlike you FUCKING MORONS,

I don't need to MAKE or BUY a little

PIECE OF SHIT present to have a

Happy Valentine's day...

...

...

Come to think of it, I've never haaad.. a...

..happy Valentine's day in MY life...

its always just kinda been a BLEAK and DISMAL

FUCKING REMINDER

of how this GOD FORSAKE WORLD

can come up and

BITE'CHA SQUARE IN THE ASS.

But.

But, this Valentine's day could be different(?).

I met a girl.

Her name is....Xx-GOTHICxKITTY-xXand... we

crossed paths in a single's chat room and... after

hours and hours of

HOT CYBERFUCKIN

she wants to meet me in the park this afternoon!

Aww, i'n't that speshol? Klunk went and

goddim selfa GURLfrend!

Wait, hol up.

You think meetin this chick'sucha'good idea's'gonna

be the answer to all yer problems?

Remember what happened when Cycon met those guys that HE "knew online"?

*cut to scene where cycon sez the enward cuz he dint kno better n thot he wuz in a yahoogroupsclub*

I just thought I was in a yahoo groups club..

(he really did, I swear)

Look, just because CY-CON can't tell the difference

between reality and fantasy doesn't mean I fuckin' can't.

Alright?

I spend HOURS upon HOURS on the internet....nnd...

whats... what's he doin while I'm doin that? nwnhe's

spendin' HOURS upon HOURS DOOSHIN the inside of

his fuckin' girlfriends CvNT, that's what HES be doin.

Goddamn, ya know it?

I'mm'onna fall in love with this bitch-

-and there's NOTHING you guys CAN DO ABOUT IT, alright?

n'w-We're gonna meet in the park'n'that's'THAT!

Wouldn't wanna get in the way of Klunk and his destiny.

By all means, have a good time.

I WILL.

*door slam as Klonk leeafed*

Oh, man. This episode's NOT gonna end well...

*dramatic pause for comedic plea*

...What's a DOOSH?

*go to da park for disappointing and predictable conclusion*

Ahh, lookin' for someone there, sonny?

Yeah, old timer, just... just waitin' on a girl.

Ah, wah... h'that's h'okaeee. I'm h'waiting on someone mySELF.

nnthat.. that.. that's great.. I'm a lil' nervous... ya know? She could be.. anything.. anyone.. ya know.. with

Ahh haaa.

..ahh. I.. I hope she's pretty but.. GOD, what if she's not, what if she's FAT...

mumblemumble whatdidido..dididowith... this.. sign... her..e...

What if she's a really, really tall, TALL woman... a HYUGEBITCH, ya know?

..ahhhereit is.

*hols up sign sez KLUNK on it wif a heart oh no....ree reee reee*

FUCK! (in anguish)

THOSE FUCKING BASTARDS ARE RIGHT AGAIN

GODDAMMIN...T...

*pan over, see girl with the blue hair and the Foamy-ass voice take...yadayada the rest is fuckin' history*

Ahh, there you are! Here's your sign back. I waited here just like you asked me to!

• Aww, thanks! ^u^ I really needed to use the ladies' room!

And so:

Another Valentine's day has passed us by!

It made us laugh and it

made us cry, and yet...

from all of this I think we've learned that.. hey.. HEY GET AWAY FROM TH..eh32i34l8 ;t

Hi, everyone!

This is Cycon.

Happy Fuckin' Valensimps day, you bastards.

-RIP 2026